oil paint ignorance and nostalgia

My grandma was a painter and a farmer’s wife. Her name was Johnnie.

She often painted with oil paints. I have one of her paintings hanging downstairs. It’s of a big red barn and I love it. I tried to take a picture of it, but it doesn’t do it justice.

So, for my daughter’s birthday I got her some oil paints. On Saturday we tried them out. First, aprons all around.

As we squeezed the paints out on the trays, the smells brought me back. I was standing in Grandma Johnnie’s studio: a garage-like building a dozen steps from the main house, chock full of paintings and easels.

She also painted with watercolor. We did too.

There’s a lot I don’t remember about her and her paintings. But still, I was surprised at how much I could recall.

I love the faces kids make when they’re concentrating. I’m certain my kids’ concentrating faces are much more toned down than mine were.

No tongues out in this crew. I don’t know how they get anything done without their mouths open and tongues out. I find it’s the best way to focus.

One thing I do remember about Grandma’s painting was how she painted the whole canvass a base color before she started, sometimes multiple times. I remember thinking how smart that was! I guess I’m easily impressed.

I also remember how she mixed the colors to make new colors. Again, I was in awe.

And, even though I’m just their mom, not Grandma Johnnie, I do think the kids were impressed when I showed them the way they could mix the colors and get a million different shades.

As we started nearing the end of our oil painting adventure (in other words, the baby was stirring from her nap), I contemplated clean-up.

We got the watercolor stuff put away and all the paintings laid out to dry. Everyone was quite clean and there was hardly any mess at all. Just the oil paints needed to be washed out of the brushes and trays. Easy enough.

What a dope I am sometimes. Oil paints, you know, real paints, made from oil. It doesn’t just wash off, you need paint thinner, or, in my case, a whole lot of soap, elbow grease and about 40 minutes, to get it out of the brushes, etc.

So, it may not look like a lot of paint there in the bottom of my (edited to look cleaner than it was) sink, but don’t be fooled, that’s a lot of clean-up right there. That brought back another memory of my Grandma Johnnie. One of her standing at the utility sink in her mud room, cleaning out paint brushes and trays.

I’m thankful for a Saturday afternoon of standing where she stood, cleaning oil paints out of paint brushes, teaching others the little that I know, being messy, and enjoying it all.

knitting and sewing and projects, oh my!

We’ve been engaged in a knitting extravaganza.

Our oldest daughter learned how to finger knit at her homeschool class at church (thanks Mrs. Jamison!).  Now she’s taught the rest of us and we’ve got quite the collection of mini-scarves.

Following this, I was inspired to pick up my knitting, which had been relegated to the back of the closet, waiting for halfway coherent brain cells to pick it up and start again.

After two trips to JoAnn Fabrics (too much fun), I’ve knitted a few pairs of legwarmers and sewn (gasp) a few as well.  My mom helped with the sewing and it is a very rewarding thing to do!

Plus, we discovered knitting looms, which are the same concept as finger knitting, only of varying sizes.  Eliza and Elianna (and even Seth, on occasion) have been able to figure these out fairly well!

So, we will be off to our church’s craft boutique come mid-November to try and sell some of our creations!  Eliza has sold 4 of hers so far and earned money to buy her own yarn.  What fun!  A real-life math lesson!  Does that mean we get to skip regular math for the day?  Methinks not..

If you have any interest in stackable mini-scarves or leg warmers, you know where to go! ;)

father/son fun: it doesn’t get much better than this!

Tom and Seth conquer the Alpine Slide in Lutsen, MN.   If you haven’t tried it, add it to the bucket list.  Way too much fun.

Evangeline Joy

She arrived.

All 5 pounds 12 ounces of her.

She is small, beautiful and ours.  We are blessed.

Eliza is in love.  Practicing with her baby dolls has paid off.

Tomorrow, little Evangeline will meet the rest of her family and all six of us will be together.

For now, we are enjoying our time of quiet at the hospital.  Thanks for the prayers and support!

miscarriage and memorials

I think a lot of miscarriages happen with little said or done.

Many women miscarry before they’ve had the chance to tell family and friends that they’re pregnant.  And so, after the loss of their little ones, they soldier on.  The baby is remembered mainly in the heart of a grieving mother.

For me, it’s helpful to have physical reminders of the little one who’s no longer with us.  It helps me to keep from feeling like I’m grieving for something small and insignificant.

A visible physical reminder says, “Yes, there was a baby in you.  Yes, you did carry him or her.  Yes, you had a lifetime of love for that little one.  Yes, the baby was taken away in a physically painful and heart-wrenching way.  It was all real.  It happened.”

And I want to remember that baby.  I want to remember the happy months of that pregnancy.

So, I have two ways of doing that.  I didn’t come up with either way.

The first is something my friend told me she does.  She keeps a memory box of everything relating to the babies no longer with her.  I keep my things in a file.  Sympathy cards that people have given me, special emails printed out, congratulations from when we announced we were expecting.  Anything tangible that relates to the baby goes in my file.

The second is a tree that my parents bought for us and my dad came and planted in our yard.  It’s a white blossoming crabapple.  (And yes, I will dig it up and take it with us if we ever move).  It was a very thoughtful gesture by my dad and it means a lot to me.

The kids helped plant it and after they were done Tom read most of Psalm 139 for us and prayed.  It’s been helpful for the kids in understanding what happened.  They know the baby in my tummy died, and our baby tree helps them remember it in a sweet and sad way; remembering and honoring.

And I’m hoping that as the tree grows and blooms it will be a sweeter remembrance to me than it is now.  A reminder of a gift that was given only for a short time, but of eternal value.

with broken hearts over our little one

It’s with a heavy and broken heart that I write to say I miscarried our little one this past weekend.

We are grieving the baby that has left us with an empty belly and empty arms.

I am wishing that I could have had one more day, or week, or month to carry him or her.  Each day was unspeakably precious and brought so much joy and anticipation.

It is a low time for us as we think of the little one that the Lord lent to us for what seems like much too short a time.  I was 8 weeks along in the pregnancy.

The time with that little one was worth all the heartache that losing him or her now brings.  The Lord has taken away.  His name is still blessed.

He has not forgotten us.  The Man of Sorrows remembers us in our affliction.

Lamentations 3:19-32

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
20 My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and k therefore I have hope:

22 l The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; [2]
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
29 let him put his mouth in the dust—
there may yet be hope;
30 let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not
cast off forever,
32 but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love..

the votes are in…

…for baby milkDodds #4.

 

We found out a little over a week ago that we are expecting another baby.  Our due date looks to be March 1st, 2010.  

As you can see, the kids all have their opinions as to what the baby (or babies, as Eliza hopes) should be.  In Eliza’s words, “We have too many girls in our family.”  So, she’s hoping for a couple boys to even things out (or tip the scales really).

Seth has reiterated now, many times, that he’s hoping for a little girl just like Elianna.  Because, “I like Elianna.”

And Elianna kind of mumbled “brother” when I asked her.  Then I said, “So you want a brother?”  And she said, “Yes.”  There you go.

Tom and I couldn’t be happier and are thankful that the Lord has seen fit to bless us with a child once again.  We know that this baby is a gift right from his hand.  A gift that He formed and breathed life into.  It was no accident or fluke, nor are any other babies formed in the secret place.

PSALM 139:13-16
“For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”

We are praying for the health of the new baby growing in the womb, and, more importantly, we are praying that this baby comes to know God and His Son Jesus.  And that God will unmistakably lay His claim on this child’s life.

We pray that we will be able to say this to our new baby and all our children one day,

2 Timothy 3:15 “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”

Thanks be to God our Father who knows how to give good gifts to His children.

 

(Shameless idea theft from the Gammons Fam on how to share the news).

10 ways to improve camping (for a non-camper like me)

We went camping on Memorial Day weekend.  

For pictures and another perspective on the trip check out Andy’s post.

It was just one night, with our small group.  It was a lot of fun; beautiful surroundings and even more importantly, wonderful people.  The kids had an awesome time, and would probably make our permanent home a tent if they could.  

I could forgo the tent part in a heartbeat.

So, having had a day to reflect on our camping experience I have come up with some important things to keep in mind for next time.  You see, I’m new to camping.  

And camping isn’t exactly my first idea of “fun”.  It’s something that I have to work at having fun at.  And I think it’s probably something worth working on, which is why I’ve decided to write this list down for future reference.

1) Always, always, always bring an air mattress.  We slept on the ground.  And using the word “slept” to describe what happened while laying in the tent all night long is a stretch.  More like, laid in uncomfortable pain for many hours with my eyes closed pretending to be asleep.  

I realize that having the air mattress won’t change the ongoing night noises of camping (which also hinder sleep for a very light sleeper like myself) but at least I’ll be awake on a soft surface.  

2) Pay careful attention to the Movement of the Group (or, MOG).  It can happen in a split second and you never know when the MOG will do something unexpected (which will inevitably turn out to be the most fun thing to happen on the whole trip). I have a keen ability to be doing my own thing when the group is on the move, potentially doing something that will be the defining momentous occasion of the trip.  

Multiple times I found myself not doing what everyone else was, and having no idea where everyone was or how to find them.  It wasn’t anyone else’s fault; I just really need to improve my “group-looks-like-it-might-be-ready-for-a-move-and-I-better-pay-attention radar.”

3) Don’t sweat putting up the tent.  If it doesn’t go up perfectly right away, it is not a reflection of poor life skills or a sign that Mr. TommyD and I have a dysfunctional marriage.  Tents are tricky.  Especially if it’s a borrowed tent.  Putting up and taking down the tent is not a race or timed event.  

4) Bring a bib.  For heaven’s sake, bring a bib!  

5)And while your at it bring a broom and dustpan too,

6) Oh, and some coffee.  Don’t forget the coffee.

7) Go ahead and wash your hair in the outdoor faucet by the campsite.  Who cares what people think?  I would have been a much happier camper if I had been a little cleaner on the second day.  

8) Related to #1, just forget about sleep.  I actually already knew this going into it, but somehow still got caught up in the hope for decent sleep when we went to bed fairly early.  (Actually, it was just me and all the kids in the group who went to bed early.. see #9)

#9) Be sure to study up on the What Every Parent Intuitively Knows To Do While Camping Handbook.  Which doesn’t exist.  Because everyone already knows it.  The piece of the protocol I was unaware of was that after everyone gets into their tents as though they are going to sleep (psyche-out!), they just stay there long enough to get their kids to sleep, then come out and have a good time together.  

Mr. TommyD informed me of this after I was situated with PJ’s on and about to drift off to “sleep” with the kids.  At this point I thought, “Oh, they’ll just be up for a tiny bit and go to bed.. if I get up, it will be just in time for everyone to head to bed.”  I kept thinking this every 15 minutes for the next hour or so.  

Next time, I’ll get that right.

#10) I actually don’t have a number 10.  Except to remind myself that, as with everything, it’s about the people.  Enjoy the people, enjoy our family and let the rest go.  I’m not going to win a “best camper” award.  I will probably always be a little bit out of my comfort zone while camping.  

But I do want to be about loving people, loving my family and being a happy and delighted child of God, if not always a “happy camper.”  And I couldn’t have asked for better company this weekend.  I got to witness four other amazing families enjoying each other and God’s creation.  

I got to get to know them a bit better and the more I know them, the more I love them.  I love that they take an interest in my kids and spur us on to be better parents and spouses.  And it was a chance to get to know something (ie camping) that my husband really enjoys, and through that, to get to know him a little better too. 

All in all, I say, “Bring it on.  I’m ready for next time.”

parents, are you moralists or theologians?

Of course the two aren’t mutually exclusive.  

But what’s your bent when you teach your kids what Christianity is all about?  I admit that it’s easier for me to fall into teaching my kids the moralistic part of Christianity as the main point.

Bruce Ware, Professor of Christian Theology at Southern Seminary, has a new book out called, Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God.  Justin Taylor interviews him about it on his blog.  

Here’s the killer excerpt:

I suspect that most parents are more comfortable teaching their kids Christian ethics (love God, don’t love the world, tell the truth, don’t cheat or steal, etc.) than they are teaching them Christian theology (how can God be three and one? How is Jesus God and man?). Why is it important for parents to learn good theology and pass it on to their kids?

He follows up the question by saying:

The Christian faith is not moralism. Yet, we can (wrongly and dangerously!) pervert the Christian faith into this, in our homes and our churches. Our lists of “do’s” and “don’t's” can become the sum and substance of our understanding of the Christian faith, and in this self-esteem saturated culture, this ends up redounding to the glory of the “self,” not the glory of God.

How much time do I spend making sure my kids understand the morality of Christianity compared to the time I spend diligently teaching them the truths of who God is, why Jesus came, and the total depravity of man.  We do talk about them, but is it primary?    

Moralism is easy.

It’s easy for grown-ups and kids.  We all know what to do with a rule.  Don’t lie.  Be kind.  Pray often.  Don’t envy.  And then we either feel good about keeping it or we feel good about breaking it.  Or guilty.  But massive weighty truths about God affect us differently.  They actually have the power to transform our mind, our heart, our worldview.

Here’s some truths that Dr. Ware says we all need to embrace, learn and teach:

• who God is in his eternal fullness as the triune God,
• who God is as Creator of all that is,
• who we are as created in his image,
• what sin is and has done to us,
• why Christ came, who Christ is,
• what he accomplished,
• how we receive the benefits of his work on the cross,
• what God provides for us to grow as his people,
• what these communities of faith called “churches” are and what they contribute,
• and what hope we have for life now and forever

I haven’t read Dr. Ware’s book, so I won’t endorse it.  But the stuff from his interview sure is helpful.  

How do you navigate being a parent-theologian?  It’s a big job isn’t it?!

some good and not-so-good reasons to memorize fighter verses

We memorize fighter verses at church.  They’re just sets of verses that take us through the year.  For more info on them check out my “I recommend” page.  Also this week’s fighter verse (and every week’s) can be found and meditated on at fighterverses.com.  Here’s this week’s:

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!  Psalm 34:1-3

I encourage everyone to memorize the fighter verses.  Or memorize Scripture according to whatever plan you have set up for yourself.  It’s beneficial.  

That said, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.  Who can know it?  So, even something like memorizing the Bible can be done with the wrong motives.  Here’s some examples of good and not-so-good reasons to memorize fighter verses:

no-so-good: I learned the fighter verse because I wanted to be called on Sunday morning to recite it and show everyone how holy I am.  

good: I learned the fighter verse because I wanted to be called on Sunday morning to recite it and encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ with the Word of God on my lips.

not-so-good:  I learned the fighter verse so I could recite it Sunday morning in the hopes that one of the pastoral staff would recognize me and congratulate me for my job well done.

good: I learned the fighter verse so I could recite it Sunday morning and one of the pastoral staff could point to me and say, “If Abigail (low brain function) can do it, then you can too!” and encourage others in their goals.  

not-so-good: I learned the fighter verse and taught it to my children so they could recite it Sunday morning (and on cue everywhere else) to show everyone what a good parent I am.

good: I learned the fighter verse and taught it to my children so that God’s Word would be in their mind and hopefully make its way to their heart.  

not-so-good: I learned the fighter verse so that next time I see “so and so” I can slap them up side the head with it.  They are always boasting and this week’s verse is about that.  They definitely need to work on that area of their life.  Plus, they’ll see how holy I am.

good:  I learned the fighter verse so that with humility, I can begin to look at the wickedness of my own heart through the lens of Scripture.  

Of course, in order to come up with these reasons, you can safely assume that I’ve had inklings towards all of them.  Even if subconscious at times.  I’m not sure the human race is capable of a motive that is 100% pure.  

But even if your motives are wrong or partly wrong and you’re working on making them pure, keep memorizing.  When I was a child in AWANA, I guarantee you my motives had nothing to do with putting God’s Word in my heart.

They had to do with winning.  I was ultra competitive.  I wanted to say more verses than anyone else and I wanted my team to win.  Memorizing verses was a means to winning.  Yet, God in His grace has not let His Word return void in my life.  

The foundation of verses stored up in my mind as a child have made their way to my heart.  And I am exceedingly grateful that they are there.  And I long to add to them.  Maybe you’ll consider what God might do through Scripture memory in your life?